I never thought I would be a widow. It never occurred to me Mitch would ever die. He was strong and fearless. Then, when he was about to turn 66, he got very sick and died suddenly.

​

I was in shock and living in a fog. I didn't rant, or scream. I started calling myself the Widow Seidman. Trying to get used to the idea of “widow,” the unthinkable. I was more comfortable with humor than grief. I started keeping a journal. I wanted to be conscious and remember what was happening to me. Writing became a daily practice, a safe place to unravel my fears and uncertainties. I believe that writing saved me, and I highly recommend it to everyone, especially to those who are grieving.

 

My mother was Jewish but raised without religion and my father lost faith in his Jewish orthodox upbringing at a young age, so they raised my four brothers and me as cultural Jews with no religious belief or education. When I married Mitch, we joined his family’s temple and became part of a wonderful Jewish community. We weren’t religious, but we enjoyed learning about being Jewish.

 

Mitch and I lived by the sea. The morning after he died, I looked out my window at the ocean and thought, Where is he, where did he go? Will we ever meet again? He left so suddenly, and it felt like he’d be back. I thought there must be more to this world and how it works than I could ever know or understand. I felt Mitch all around me then and continue to feel his presence even now.

 

I moved my wedding ring to my right hand; it is a sign of having once been married. I am now a single woman. When Mitch died, I had not been a single woman for forty years. It was uncharted territory, uncomfortable and lonely. Now I realize I have done so many things I would not have done if I were still married to him. For example: travel, date, and buy a house by myself. Would Mitch have ever moved to Florida? I don’t think so.

 

I created this book of my widow experiences to help other widows feel less lonely and to help them see what a new life could look like. I tried to make this book easy to read and as funny as I could considering the subject. The book has stories, poems, facts, and my illustrations. Simply, it is a gentle guide showing you a path, giving you some ideas, so you too, can create your own new life.